Day 364: Please come home soon because i'm dying from the ache of missing you.

the feature that u love the most; ur nose.
the feature that u hate the most; ur eyes.
but no matter which one u hate or love the most, i'm certain i will be in love with every single one of them for the rest of my life. u might think i'm just kidding, but u know me well enough.

u look pretty with ur make up on and when u are heading out, u smell nice too. but little do u know that u look the most beautiful in my eyes when u wake up in the morning, with heavy eye bags, morning breaths that used to greet me, and ur smell. it's such a wonderful thing to wake up to.

no matter how many words i typed now, no matter how many times i'm going to have to say it to u, i just needed to remind u that no matter how far apart we are, u will always be living so vividly in me. i can't get rid of u even after all the ways i've tried.

i've tried to hate u, but i ended up hating myself more. i've tried to stay high every night, trying to forget ur warmth by drinking, but i ended up calling out to u more even when i'm drunk. i've tried to keep myself busy every single day, studying and working, trying not to let myself slow down but i ended up looking at the time staring blankly and wondering what u are doing at that point in time.

there's nothing left within me. i guess i've forgotten to take it all back when we parted ways. it hurts so fucking bad to see u move on, u were my kryptonite and u still are. the words we exchanged, the future we planned, i'm still holding on to all of them so tightly even when i'm bleeding from them.

i got no other choices because i've already made my choice long ago. i know u really gotta go this time, but that doesn't mean i have to be gone too. i still wna hold on to u for as long as forever is. honestly from the day u left, i no longer believe in forever. but ironically, i still see u as my forever.

pls know that i'd always wanted u to be happy. i'm sorry for being the toxic in ur life that u got to move on from, when all i ever wanted was to love u for the rest of my life.

time didn't change anything. i still see u the same, and my heart still loves u the same, even more. it's rather stupid to still be waiting like a fool here, but when u come home someday, i will be the happiest fool on earth. :)