i don't know how to not get reminded of you. you still seem to be everywhere i go to. i always think of you no matter where i am. when i go to places where we have went before, your shadow seemed to be following me everywhere. when i go to places where we haven't been but it's a nice place, i will always think to myself that i will wanna bring you there someday.
it's so pathetic to be living this way. it's like living everyday without a soul and most parts of me ain't around at all.
i've been trying so hard to keep myself distracted and avoiding leaving house at the usual time, to prevent bumping into you and him. i don't want to hurt myself again but i still want to see you at the same time. it's such a struggle that i'm about to get used to.
i don't want to get used to it because when i do, i don't know how will i be like.
i want to be numb to seeing things that i don't want to see but i guess it's just hard because, you still matter the most to me.
exams in 2 days' time and i'm getting so distracted by the things that shouldn't distract me anymore. for you, i will work hard. trust me, i will get there.
bao, i miss you. so bad, fucking bad.
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