"The good things in life doesn't come free and they are worth the wait."
You are the best thing in my life, so I still believe you are worth the wait, even for my entire life.
I'm getting so much mixed feelings, so many ups and downs, roller coaster emotions from seeing your social media posts and all the things that include you and him. I don't know what to feel, I thought I'd be really numb to it someday but I guess you just can't be numb to the things that matter the most in your life.
I get angry sometimes, but it's just sadness overtaking me for most of the times. You can't imagine how I still roll myself inside my blanket and cry silently every night. It gets worse every time. I wanted to scream and cry out so much but I know I can't. I am supposed to be fine in front of everyone, right? Yea I am supposed to. And I should be strong enough to walk away from you too, even shadows of you. But I can't.
These memories kept impacting me so much because I kept feeding all of them with more memories. They say memories belong to the past but I am using them to get me to the future. I still can't deal and a part of me honestly, secretly hopes that the relationship you are in now screws up someday. It's the part of me where no one ever knows and I can't accept it myself too.
I hope you get treated right, I really hope you do. But just so you know, I am still working hard for you. I am still trying to achieve what I want in life because of you. Everything is still about you and I am suffocating so bad, so bad.
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