Day 15:

从来就没想过要故意伤害你，为什么你要把我爱你的心一片一片的撕毁。我真的做得那么错，我真的不值得你的一点点关心吗？难道我所为你付出过的一切，真的不再重要了吗？我好希望得到你的原谅，我好希望你能回到我身旁，这一切的一切，还有可能发生吗。。？我真的知道错了，我真的知道了。。。:'(

我真的该死，我真的是活该。我根本就不应该存活在这个世界上。

Day 14:

习惯听你分享生活细节
害怕破坏完美的平衡点
保持着距离一颗心的遥远
我的寂寞你就听不见

我走回从前你往未来飞
遇见对的人错过交叉点
明明你就已经站在我面前
我却不断挥手说再见

以后别做朋友 朋友不能牵手
想爱你的冲动 我只能笑着带过
最好的朋友 有些梦 不能说出口
就不用承担 会失去你的心痛

划一个安全的天空界线
谁都不准为我们掉眼泪
放弃好好爱一个人的机会
要看着你幸福到永远

以后别做朋友 朋友不能牵手
想爱你的冲动 我只能笑着带过
最好的朋友 有些梦 不能说出口
就不用承担 会失去你的心痛

忍住失控 太折磨 我自作自受
回忆都是我 好不了的伤口

以后还是朋友 还是你最懂我
我们有始有终 就走到世界尽头
永远的朋友 祝福我 遇见爱以后
不会再懦弱 紧紧握住那双手。

你知道我真的很想再牵着你的手，看着你的眼睛，跟你说一句我爱你吗？你知道我真的很想跟你创造一个新的未来吗？你几时才会回到我身边。。:'( 

Day 12:

Don’t be sorry,
that makes me more pitiful.
With your pretty red lips
please hurry, kill me and go.
I’m all right.
Look at me one last time
Smile like nothing’s wrong,
so when I miss you I can remember.
So I can draw your face in my mind.

My selfishness that couldn’t let you go
turned into an obsession that imprisoned you.
Were you hurt because of me?
You sit silently.
Why am I a fool, why can’t I forget you.
You’re already gone.

Your eyes, nose, lips
Your touch that used to touch me,
to the ends of your fingertips.
I can still feel you

but like a burnt out flame,
burnt and destroyed
all of our love
it hurts so much, but now I’ll call you a memory.

Love you, loved you
I must have not been enough
Maybe I could see you just once by coincidence.
Everyday I grow restless,
Everything about you is becoming faint.
You smile back in our pictures,
unknowing of our approaching farewell.

My selfishness that couldn’t let you go
turned into an obsession that imprisoned you
Were you hurt because of me?
You sit silently.
Why am I a fool, why can’t I forget you.
You’re already gone.

Your eyes, nose, lips
Your touch that used to touch me,
to the ends of your fingertips.
I can still feel you

but like a burnt out flame,
burnt and destroyed
all of our love
it hurts so much, but now I’ll call you a memory.

Your black eyes that only saw me
Your nose that held the sweetest breath
Your lips that whispered ‘i love you, i love you’

Your eyes, nose, lips
Your touch that used to touch me,
to the ends of your fingertips.
I can still feel you

but like a burnt out flame,
burnt and destroyed
all of our love.
it hurts so much, but now I’ll call you a memory.

你让我学会了珍惜。但是现在我想珍惜你也来不及了，你已经走的好远好远了。。我好想你。

Day 5:

It's the fifth day without you by my side. I haven't eaten any proper meals for 6 days already. Everywhere I go to, everything I do, memories of us will always surface in front of me. I don't know what to do about it. I don't know how to cope with all these.

2 days ago, you finally gave me a hug. 2 days ago, I finally feel you with me again. You finally used your loving hands to soothe my face and my heart. You finally showed to me that you still love me. Do you know how happy i was after that? You said you needed space, you said you needed time to be alone and think. Do you know why I was so afraid to give you the space and time you needed? Cause I am really afraid that you will never be coming back to me ever again. I have never been so afraid before in my entire life. You told me that your heart has already died on me, you told me that the chances of you coming back to me again is so slim. Do you know how devastated I felt when I heard that? My heart literally died, literally. But after that when I told you that I will wait for you to come back and revive your heart again, you told me "Ok, but not so soon. Not for now definitely. I just need my space for now." I saw rays of hopes shining on us again. I have never been so determined to wait for someone in my entire life. I have never been so determined in anything before in my entire life. I have only one life goal right now, to wait for you to come back to me and treat you right forever when you come back.

I will be waiting. I dont know what you mean by not a short period of time, it might be one week, 2 weeks, or even 2 months. I dont know. I will just wait for you to be ready and come back to my side again. I pray everyday, before I sleep, when I wake up, and even before I leave for work. I pray everyday for you to be by my side once again. I believe you will be coming back soon. I  believe we will be even happier than ever when we are back together. I believe, and I will wait and I will prove it to you with my actions. I will.

I miss you so fucking much bao, please come back soon. Please. I love you.

Day 1:

Day one of not having you by my side.

I don't even have words to describe the agony I am feeling now. When it comes, it really hurts and it hurts a lot. It hurts damn bad. I am in pure agony. All the words you said just pierced right through me and it really isn't what I expected to be.

You turned cold and it's all my doings, i let you down umpteen times and you did not give me up. But this time, you are going away. You are going away for real.

I will wait for you no matter how long you need to take. I will be right here waiting.

魔鬼中的天使

为什么你对我会变那么多？为什么我们不可以像从前一样开开心心的过每一天？为什么我们每天都要吵架？为什么现在你的感觉那么陌生？

我们都变了吗？还是只有我变了？我们之间的感情隐藏着那么多的问号，我该如何是好。我还爱你，可是我们不能再这样下去。我还爱你，不知应不应该放下你。我太失败了。

有许多的感触，有许多的回忆，有许多的笑声，都是我们共同拥有的。 。。心好痛。就让我做一次坏人吧，就让我被心碎声击聋吧。





我彻底毁灭了，不可能回到从前了。。我们的未来，不会有彼此了。。

從前的我們

Quarrels after quarrels.

I know and I can see that you have been tolerating me for such a long time already. What if one day you got sick of my temper? What if one day you found someone who can and will treat you better? What if one day you don't feel that much love for me anymore? I am so afraid of all the what ifs, do you know how insecure I am?

Sorry is all that I can offer you and I clearly know that it will never be enough. I will never be enough and I have no idea how to improve my self esteem. It's not that I don't trust you enough. Trust me, it is my own problem.

When will there be rainbow after the thunderstorm for us? Will it ever come?



I understood myself after I destroyed myself. Remember that.